I'm Okay, You're Okay, But Sometimes We're Not Okay

I used to like having people think and tell us that A. and I are some kind of super couple and I still do sometimes, but whenever we had things to work through in the relationship, it felt more like projecting a façade than anything close to genuine. It felt like pressure! When we'd hang out with others and they'd ask how we were, I'd quickly pipe in with "We're fine!!" I'd be too embarrassed and self-conscious to admit that things had been rocky between us, as if releasing that information would create an anvil over our heads. Plus, I didn't want anyone predicting our doom when they could never understand the full story of us.

Lately, it's been such a relief to just be real with my close friends and admit that yeah, we care about one another, but damn is it hard sometimes. It feels even better when the other person replies with, "I know! It takes so much work!" It helps me realize that no matter how happy and easy breezy a couple may seem in public, you don't see the time and energy they could be putting into overcoming their issues at home. And I think knowing that there's still love, respect, and understanding even in the face of rough obstacles is more admirable than presenting the idea that everything was, is, and always will be perfect.

Image: Francesca Crippa on flickr.com