Masochistic Tendencies

I might not offer as much as others during girl talk sessions, but I love to sit in and listen. Why? Because it makes me feel less crazy. Knowing what the other girls do validates my antics and while there's the possibility that each one of us is completely bonkers, at least I'm not the only one. It's such a relief when one of us starts telling a story and another one chimes in with an "OMG, I do that too!!" And with that the doors of psychosis are busted wide open.

Apparently when it comes to past loves...

- We save voicemails just to hear them over and over. And just when the message is about to expire, we press 9 and think, "Yes! Thirty more days, baby!"

- Oh the sadness when we forget to resave and realized his/her voice has been deleted forever...

- Sometimes the message is saved just to prove a point - especially if it's from someone who swore he/she'd never reach out again. Self-esteem boost or vindication? Who cares! It still makes you feel wanted.

- We keep his/her songs in our iPods so that instant depression might or might not hit when you choose "shuffle." It's like musical Russian roulette.

- In fact, we might have gone right ahead and created a whole playlist with those torturous songs. They're played when we need a good cry, when the world is just too damn happy and you want to bring it down a notch or when you want to take a dark trip down Memory Lane, which just so happens to be one of those songs for me.

So, do you do anything of the sort? It's ok. You're probably not alone.

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