Christmas Retreat

First off, thanks so much for the warm messages you all wrote to me last week. It was really touching to know that though we've never met, you guys took some time to send over words of encouragement and kindness. Here's hoping this all blows over soon and as painlessly as possible.

So how were your holidays? A. and I spent Christmas with his family in L.A. and it was really nice to get away for a few days. We'd made the plans in late November and after I received my diagnosis I was so intent on not changing my vacation plans no matter what happened. It was great not having to answer calls, accept invitations, entertain family, or spend my days thinking of what's been going on or what'll happen. I really needed to run away for a bit.

Can you believe that A. and I actually thought it would be a good idea to buy presents once we were there? We were running around malls on Christmas Eve still wondering what on earth to get the family and each other. Never again. We also went bowling (I sucked), played Catchphrase (so fun!), A.'s mom and I had a movie date to catch Les Misérables (did you watch?), and we all played with A.'s nephews who are the two cutest kids ever (see exhibits K and C). It's always hard saying goodbye to them so when I hugged and kissed the older one - who will be a whole two years old in a few weeks - my voice caught in my throat and I could only manage a whisper.

"Goodbye," he whispered back in imitation.

Each time I go, I could just stay there and on this trip I couldn't believe that it almost became real. A. and I had been seriously preparing for a possible move-in with his parents. After only being employed for three months out of the last 16, his finances were seriously dwindling and he was contemplating moving back to California at the end of the year to go for his college degree. Completely self-taught in his field, A. was starting to doubt how far he could go without a bachelor's degree in something or other. And because I would gladly support him and am fortunate that my current job only requires a computer with Internet connection, I would have left New York City with him. About a couple weeks before he would've had no other choice but to leave, he got a call back for a job he's been enjoying since.

Who knows what could have happened if we had left? With these recent events, I'm actually glad we stayed home where I have the support of family and friends and health insurance coverage. I still have every intention of moving away someday. I just have to take care of a few things first.

Image: vanillaandlace.blogspot.com